There comes a moment at every December gathering when someone corners you with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever and asks a question you have spent all year avoiding.
So this year, rather than relying on luck, intuition, or the nearest washroom, we offer you a structured solution: The Festive Avoidance Protocol.
This is a system for preserving your social energy without hiding behind the tree.
Time for recess ☕
~ Sarah
The Festive Avoidance Protocol for Holiday Conversations
IMPACT – 10/10
This protocol exists because small talk, while culturally beloved, can be emotionally expensive. It requires polite nodding, smiling, and keeping track of conversations.
December can be a curious mix of connection and overstimulation. By giving yourself a structured escape strategy, you’ll avoid committing to things you never intended to, like training for a half-marathon or joining someone’s essential oil pyramid scheme.
Healthy boundaries are a brand value. This is simply their festive edition.
PLAY – 10/10
This protocol contains three simple maneuvers. You may try one or all, depending on the density of conversational risk.
1. The Intercept and Redirect
As soon as a conversation takes a turn you’re not into, interrupt gently: “Hold that thought. I need to check something.” Do not specify what, just go.
2. The “Let Me Refresh My Drink” Maneuver
You hold up an empty or barely empty glass and say, “I’m going to top this up.” Don’t have a glass? “I’m going to grab a drink.” People respect hydration. You’re gone.
3. The Invisible Hat Trick
Announce you have misplaced a hat, scarf, or mitten. Search with purpose. Search with conviction. Search places hats never go. Be free.
SUSTAINABILITY – 10/10
This system is evergreen. It requires no optimization, dashboards, or annual reviews.
Each holiday season, pull out the same three maneuvers and manage your finite emotional resources like a pro.
Recess Tally – 10
The Festive Avoidance Protocol earns a weighted Recess Tally of 10/10.
Takeaway
This is our last newsletter of the year as we recess for the holidays. Thank you for being part of this community. May your gatherings be joyful, your conversations optional, and your invisible hats always found in the last place you look.
We will see you in January, refreshed, restored, and ready to engage in small talk.
Did you find this system helpful? Hit reply and let us know!
Until next recess,
Sarah & Jamie
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P.P.S. Got a system you’d love us to share? Drop it in our inbox and we’ll feature it in a future issue — with credit of course!
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